Impressions of an atheist.

Here is a topic that has haunted me through times; religion and god. I’m an atheist, a nonbeliever. But honestly I’m a nonbeliever of a different kind, “I do pray”, sometimes for myself, and sometimes for my loved ones. I just can’t ignore what my parents thought me, and what they’re doing from their very own childhood even though I’m a nonbeliever.

I mean, that would make them dumb, right. The whole of the mankind has been a believer, and I’d like to think that there must be something, and I don’t know it is god for sure, that is omnipresent. It would have been good if god were there. I’m an atheist who is not sure of the existence of god; he may or may not be there.

I don’t go to places of worship, not because I’m against it, but because I’m just lazy and a bit shy to remove my shirt and expose my chubby pieces of flesh here and there on my body. Maybe if I were fit, and had a hunky body, then yes, I might consider going to the temple, not for praying, but just for the sake of it. I had been to a church once and I really felt good I must say.

My mother is a believer. She goes to temple every now and then. I ask her have you seen god, she says, “no, I haven’t, but when I pray, I get piece of mind. Maybe it’s because we humans are weak, but I as a person just cannot ignore the holy presence.” It’s been the single huge thing in her life that has kept her going through hard times, I guess.

A lot of people like to think that being an atheist is unholy. But what if I say, it doesn’t matter that we’re a believer or an atheist? Now, if god were there, he would have been big, bigger than anybody or anything in this world. And we all humans and every living being would have been his creation.

And just like a mother forgives everything bad her child does, and loves them by their heart, god also would have forgiven us. I mean, we don’t have any proof of his existence, so there’s no reason to believe in him? He does not show his presence where he’s needed the most. And that’s a genuine reason, I guess. It sort of makes god weak, isn’t it?

I once asked my uncle, who is sort of an astrologer, “is being an atheist a bad thing?” He replied, “It doesn’t matter if you’re an atheist or a nonbeliever, the thing that matters the most is learning to be human. Hurting anybody physically or mentally is the greatest sin you can do. God doesn’t need you to believe in him, because he is so big that your belief or the whole of mankind’s belief in him doesn’t count. No matter whatever we do, we ultimately have to go back to him after death, whether you are a believer or a nonbeliever”.

It was a satisfactory answer for me. You might be thinking what about the people who are sinners? Yes, I’d like to believe they too have the same fate. All our fates are same. Now what about the punishment for sinners? You might ask what about the heaven and hell theory then?

Well, my take on this is; heaven and hell all exists in this living world itself. It’s all in our hands, in our mind rather. You can make your life in this planet a living hell or heaven just by your deeds. So the sinners are sort of punished in this very living world, not by god, but by their own deeds. That’s what I would like to believe because for me it makes sense.

My father used to say about death a lot. “Death is the ultimate reality, that’s the only thing that you are sure of. One can definitely say to oneself that one day I’m going to die, it may be today or tomorrow or any other day”.
So, what I’ve to say is, till you’re here in this world, make yourself and your loved ones happy with your deeds; do what your heart tells you to do and do it without being selfish. So live your life to the fullest, and make the place around you a better place to live by. That’s what life is all about, living the way you want, and always remember, you are a human first, so behave like one, and you’ll just be fine.

Back to gaming with VAIO W115!!!

It’s been some time since I laid my hands on a decent gaming rig. Almost three years have passed by without any serious gaming in my life. Life’s been boring, let me add, boring to the core! I do remember precisely the last game that I played, Tomb Raider: Legends.

It played well on my machine. Considering the newer demanding games were on the bloc and my old NVidia GeForce 5200 wasn’t potent enough to tackle the then gaming requirements, I felt really good that I was able to play it, and play it in style. It was my first Lara Croft game.

I was just crazy about games when I got my first PC back in 2004. I was in my college those days, B-tech Electronics, 1st year I suppose. I was always a movie-buff, but when I got introduced to this new form of entertainment, I was awestruck, always glued to my PC doing nothing but playing whatever games that came my way. It was coolest of my days, although I never attended a lot of exams of mine, just for the sake of gaming!

It’s been almost 5 years. Work’s is boring as always, and I don’t do well in that too. I desperately needed a gaming rig, but only this time I was opting for a laptop for a change. I started the search. There were too many models in the market, Dell, Acer, MSI, HP, and many other new companies making their way to the marketplace; all had their gaming-specific laptops on the table, and last but not the least there was always Alienware, a gamer’s ultimate fantasy, pure beast, but what the heck, I’m not paid good enough to get that piece of gadgetry.

Sony Vaio - W115

So first of all, I had to fix my budget. After doing the usual googling, I settled my budget at a decent 45K, anything under 45K will just suite fine for me, as I could only afford to buy the entry-level laptops. Second task was the model, which model to choose from. I thought I don’t really need a desktop-replacement model with large screens; I’d rather go for a 14” neat screen, which kind of gave essentially a compact look and also gave some extra battery backup.

My two options were ‘Dell Studio 14’, and ‘Acer Gemstone 6920’. Both had decent looks and they both came pretty close to my budget too. I didn’t know which to choose from. I was pulled upon by the look of the Dell Studio series, but my gadget-freak friend Arif suggested the Gemstone. I would have to decide it on the store itself judging by the looks, ergonomics etcetera.

Having sketched the whole game plan in my mind, I went to the store, IT Net, Cochin. They showed me some models that suited my requirements. After going through a couple of models from both Dell and Acer, I fixed my deal on Acer Gemstone 6920. I looked a bit better than Dell, obviously. While I was thinking hard in my mind about the cost, something beautiful caught my eye; a glossy red lid just in front of me, I thought, how could I miss this sight before, it looked a bit girlish, but it was a pure beauty, it was a Sony Vaio.

There was something in the model that made me re-think for my options. Now, a Sony will cost me anywhere around 55K or more, and also I wasn’t sure if the model had a dedicated GPU. Then the salesman said, “you can try Vaio too sir; 320/3GB with NVidia GeForce G210 256mb. And the price came to about 46K”. I was literally shocked to know that Sony laps did have a dedicated GPU and it came around 45K too, and it looked just tempting, sort of like an Indian bride wearing a red joda. I knew i had to go for it, and guess what, I did!

The looks were just classy, covered in glossy red; it had an isolated keypad, which gave it a distinct look. Spec-wise, it had an average system spec; usual 14 inch screen, Intel Core 2 duo T660 cores running at 2.20Ghz, 3Gb of RAM, 320Gb HDD space, and an entry level NVidia GeForce G210, 256Mb Graphics Card, which I hope will at least do a mediocre job when it comes to gaming. VIAO has put in a lot of features; a Vaio media centre, which takes care of everything from playing music to editing videos, was quite a joy to work on.

My Desktop after a fresh Windows 7 Installation.

It came up with some bundled music albums too, again a nice addition. Sony has added everything to the laptop including cd writing software. It cost me around Rs45, 800 for the whole thing. I’m satisfied. The performance as I expected is average. I tried to run 720p HD video with all the codecs installed. It played fine, but when i tried to drag the seek bar, the video was getting stuck a bit.

Then I tried some games. I bought a copy of Left 4 Dead. The installation took around 10min. Then I ran the game with all settings high in the highest resolution. The game ran like a wind. I guess the game is not so demanding on graphics. But I guess games like Crysis will bring the system to its knees. It was perfect for casual gaming.

L4D on my machine.

It gave me a power backup of just about 2 hours on power saver mode. Overall, I feel good that I bought a Sony VIAO. Good features, average graphics, good build, glossy smart looks, and last but not the least, excellent keys to work on.

2012 – A Must Watch!

Roland Emmerich is back, and this time he goes big with 2012. With the line of movies in his bag, he can be titled undoubtedly as the ‘master of disaster movies’, and I think 2012 is his best movie till date.

Many believe that a movie is fueled by its ‘story’, which plays a vital role in its critical success. If you’ve got a strong story, a mediocre direction will sail the movie safe into the hearts of millions and also into the banks, of course. Well, if you’re one of those believers, then this is not the one for you, because this doesn’t quite have a story as such.

I think that’s obvious from the title and the marketing the filmmakers have done thus far, but what makes the movie so special is its relentless depiction of the apocalypse with its state-of-the-art special effects and CGI, which no matter however scientifically inaccurate, is bound to blow your mind, and keep you ultra-thrilled at the edge of your seats.

For me it was a movie of a lifetime. I booked for a matinee on a Sunday afternoon when I was in Cochin last week. I was more than surprised to the see the crowd. It was overwhelming, something that you never see in Kerala. There was obvious applauses and whistling during the movie, but the defining moment for me came when the audience (not all, but most of the fraction) gave kind of a standing ovation when the director’s name was splashed in the end credits, which is fascinating because most of the people in Kerala don’t know or rather don’t care who the director is, they just came to see the earthquakes, and the volcanic eruptions, the Tsunami and stuff.

Like many of his movies, 2012 too has a hell lot of destruction, but this time it’s too splendid, most of the time. The story goes by the protagonist, Jack Curtis, played by John Cusack, a divorcee, who is supposed to save his ex-wife and children from the destined wrath of gods. As I said before, 2012 is not really about the story; it’s about the breathtaking scenes that almost visualize how the end of the world is going to be, if there was one.

 

Two Words - "Too Good"

 

 

Although there are a lot negative critics, who say 2012 relies on a lot of CGI and has no substance, but people, this is a disaster movie, and I’d say Mr. Emmerich is successful once again in doing what he does best, ‘making us feel to our hearts that we’re nothing but tiny little helpless creatures, and our fates are decided elsewhere’.